- Nix the selfies, which can come across as too narcissistic.
- Don’t wear sunglasses in your shots. Corny as it sounds, eyes are the windows to the soul and sunglasses can look as though you’re hiding something.
- Avoid bikini shots, unless you’re just looking to hook up.
- Avoid group shots. It’s important to make it easy for him to see you and get excited about you. In this fast dating world, people don’t take the time to figure out which one you are – they just swipe left.
- Don’t include shots of you with people that could be mistaken for a boyfriend or girlfriend. (I don’t care how much you love your brother. Keep him out of the shot.)
- Ditto for shots where you clearly cropped your ex out of the shot. Yes, we all have a relationship history but we don’t need to see the arm of the person that was there before us.
- Don’t include pets in your shots, as much as you may love them. You should be the focus, not your cute puppy.
So, what does that leave? Focus on shots that show off your interests. For example, if you are a runner, include one of you crossing the finish line. Not only will this attract potential partners with similar interests, but it also gives suitors an easy conversation starter.
Even the most experienced and active daters are a little nervous the first time they reach out to someone. Make it easy. Give lots of easy conversation starters in your profile. The words you use reveal a lot about who you are and can serve as door openers. Use them wisely.
You can also use your dating profile to ask an ice-breaker. “I am working my way through Los Angeles takeout, what’s your fav?” Mention a movie you’ve been wanting to see or a band you love so they have an opening.
4. Focus on the Positive
On dating apps and sites, people are looking to keep it light and fun, even in a pandemic. This is not the time or the place to bare your soul. Keep text short and light and get straight to the point. A divorced male friend of mine once wrote a dating profile that basically described what went wrong in his marriage. (“I don’t want someone who is going to lie, cheat or use me for my money,” he wrote.) Learn from his mistake and keep talk of exes out of your profile.
Be positive and create a visual. Talk about what you like, not what you don’t like. “I hate camping and the outdoors,” just sounds negative, even if it is true. “I love sharing a good movie and making new pasta dishes,” sounds fun and creates a vision of a date, or even a life together. This is the time to really showcase your personality. Instead of saying you’re adventurous, share about the time you jumped out of a plane. Bonus points for corresponding photos.
5. State Your Romantic Goals
Are you looking for a hookup? (Let it be known, I do not recommend this in a pandemic. you are safer getting cozy with your vibrator). A long-term relationship? A husband? State what you want. According to Frances, “If you don’t want hookups, and are looking for LTR’s, or ilies, state that. You DO want to scare the wrong men off, and they’ll just move on to the next girl.”
Some women worry about sounding desperate, but you can state these goals without sounding needy. The right man who is ready for those things is going to respond well to them. Make sure that your photos are aligned with your romantic goals. If you’re looking for a husband, maybe don’t post a picture of you dancing on the table at your best friend’s bachelorette party. Even if you look hot, this might be a turn-off to a man who is looking to settle down.